When I Felt A Failure

He was crying and so was I. It was all I could do to fight the urge to curl up on the bed and sob every time my son woke from a nap or got hungry. The change in mood had been so sudden and entirely unexpected. We had finally begun to get past the difficulty of the birth, the week of his time in NICU, things were finally stable; but now I felt I was falling apart. Even more, I felt I was a bad mother.

After a few days I called my mother and she confirmed my fear: I had the baby blues. A common problem but one that was fast beginning to heavily impact our lives.

Baby blues and postpartum depression are not unusual, especially if the pregnancy or birth was difficult. Experiencing it does not make any woman a bad mother, though her feelings run contrary. For any mother experiencing either of these forms of depression the best thing to do is act on it. I personally wanted to avoid drugs that would 'reset my brain', according to a doctor. There are many natural things that helped me through my own baby blues fairly quickly.

Doing each of the following daily is very important and worked wonderfully in my experience:

• Take vitamin D, especially if you live someplace that doesn't see allot of sun. Also, help your body create its own vitamin D but spending time in the sun, if your skin can handle some exposure without sunblock then that is all the better
•  Get an oil warmer. Both sage and clove scented oils invigorate and uplift. The moment I begin to feel depression settle in I light my oil warmer. I prefer clove scent and the change in my mood is almost immediate.
• Drink licorice tea, at least three cups a day. Stash produces and herbal, caffeine free, licorice spice tea that tastes good and is affordable.
• It is tempting to use the kids' nap time as a time to clean. However, if you are feeling at all run down it is better for you to nap too. The house work will still be there later and you will have more energy for your children and your home if you take time to recharge.
• Take fifteen. I usually do this at night after my son has gone to bed. Shut the bathroom door and take time to unhurriedly wash your face and brush your teeth. Pick up a scented lotion that is gentle on your skin and use it before bed. Take a hot washcloth and wash your feet as well. Going to bed after even just fifteen minutes of a little pampering will help you sleep better and add to the feeling of being refreshed.
• Get out of the house. This can be ten minutes on the front porch or a trip to the store. Call a friend to meet you for coffee. If for some reason you cannot go somewhere, ask someone to come to you. The less you feel alone the faster you'll be bidding the blues goodbye.
• Develop a schedule. This is easier said than done and not every mother works a steady schedule or stays at home. If you have a baby sitter or nanny, work out a schedule for them to follow with the kids. Established routines for nap times are especially helpful and help everyone to take that much needed break from the constant motion of life. 

The list seems long, I know, and by no means to I write it lightly. Not every solution will work for every mother, but my hope is to offer a little help when it comes to a problem many mothers face and are either unaware or afraid to admit.

Let me be perfectly clear in parting. Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression  does not make any woman a failure and both can be overcome with a little help and a lot of love.

~MissyK